Saturday, December 27, 2008
new years eve: the loneliest night of the year?
well, it looks like my european trip is off this year due to an unforseen personal situation.
bob is bummed. i am bummed also but we will make the best of it here in santa barbara. in many ways it will be a relief to just kick back and relax for a month and eat, fuck, drink, work out, run on the beach and generally stay close to home and close to my uncle michael in los angeles: which is a short hop away from me. without revelaing too much, the uncs comes first above all others and he needs me now.
i have seen a number of movies: milk (very good), doubt (empty headed), benjamin button (very close to perfect)and revolutionary road (riveting).
bob and i will spend new years eve in los angeles: we will make a big party, i will cook...it will be a blast. the sb bros will meet the la bros and i will referee the ensuing confrontation.....more on that later.
peace,
tyler
12/31/08
Sunday, December 14, 2008
misc stuff in no particular order
the vampires left before i could say goodbye the day after the great dinner we had at downey's. there were reports of rat, dog and cat bones littered all over state street the next day in the sb newspaper.
christmas is coming sooner than later. i don't know about you but i feel enervated about the whole thing. i can't seem to dredge up much enthusiasm. the best thing is that i will be spending some time in los angeles with the uncs.
i did have a tree-trimming party here in sb in the dorm and that was fun but something was missing, christmas spirit-wise, ya know?
the guests were great, the food was slammin' and the tequila and wine were primo....but. bob was in a good mood and actually made an effort to get to know the bros. he also got drunk. but drunk in a good way: touchy, kissy, feely, vulnerable, defenses down, happy.
he was a hit with my friends both male and female. btw: there were 2 of his actual current students attending and he didn't outwardly flinch though i could sense a little trepidation. he soon got over that.
i am a great fan of jason statham (seen here) and i recently saw his "transporter3" which was a whole lot of fun. i read an article in which the director/writer of all three transporters wrote that he had created this character as a gay man. if that is true though, why does statham always have a scene in each film fucking a woman? nevertheless, run to see transporter3...it is a hoot. i firmly believe that they should have picked statham as the new james bond but maybe his screen personna is too ironic, too macho, too sexy, too edgey for bond. another statham movie that rocks is "crank," which is an updating of the 50'ish film noir, "d.o.a." and funny as hell.
---the bitter pill: de la hoya vs pacquiao---
obviously, at least to those who know me, the oscar de la hoya fight of last saturday night was a major downer for me: he lost. no, more to the point, he was hammered and taken apart by manny pacquiao. it was the first time that a de la hoya fight had to be stopped: stopped because de la hoya's handlers threw in the towel that is. i honestly don't remember if the white towel was actually thrown in the ring as by this time, i was not only pissed off but pissed...as in, if not drunk, well on my way there...as were my bros, also de la hoya fans. there are many social and moral reasons why de la hoya is a hero to me, some are: he is a los angeleno, his family is from mexico (as my pops parents were), he has done a lot for the poor of east los angeles and is basically a cool, moral,socially conscious and humble man.
he should not have taken this fight. it was a mistake. he should have retired without staining his professional rep with this travesty of a bout. i'm sad. my bros are sad. i am bracing myself now because hbo is re-broadcasting the fight right now and i am totally sober. will i be able to watch it again?
peace,
tyler
christmas is coming sooner than later. i don't know about you but i feel enervated about the whole thing. i can't seem to dredge up much enthusiasm. the best thing is that i will be spending some time in los angeles with the uncs.
i did have a tree-trimming party here in sb in the dorm and that was fun but something was missing, christmas spirit-wise, ya know?
the guests were great, the food was slammin' and the tequila and wine were primo....but. bob was in a good mood and actually made an effort to get to know the bros. he also got drunk. but drunk in a good way: touchy, kissy, feely, vulnerable, defenses down, happy.
he was a hit with my friends both male and female. btw: there were 2 of his actual current students attending and he didn't outwardly flinch though i could sense a little trepidation. he soon got over that.
i am a great fan of jason statham (seen here) and i recently saw his "transporter3" which was a whole lot of fun. i read an article in which the director/writer of all three transporters wrote that he had created this character as a gay man. if that is true though, why does statham always have a scene in each film fucking a woman? nevertheless, run to see transporter3...it is a hoot. i firmly believe that they should have picked statham as the new james bond but maybe his screen personna is too ironic, too macho, too sexy, too edgey for bond. another statham movie that rocks is "crank," which is an updating of the 50'ish film noir, "d.o.a." and funny as hell.
---the bitter pill: de la hoya vs pacquiao---
obviously, at least to those who know me, the oscar de la hoya fight of last saturday night was a major downer for me: he lost. no, more to the point, he was hammered and taken apart by manny pacquiao. it was the first time that a de la hoya fight had to be stopped: stopped because de la hoya's handlers threw in the towel that is. i honestly don't remember if the white towel was actually thrown in the ring as by this time, i was not only pissed off but pissed...as in, if not drunk, well on my way there...as were my bros, also de la hoya fans. there are many social and moral reasons why de la hoya is a hero to me, some are: he is a los angeleno, his family is from mexico (as my pops parents were), he has done a lot for the poor of east los angeles and is basically a cool, moral,socially conscious and humble man.
he should not have taken this fight. it was a mistake. he should have retired without staining his professional rep with this travesty of a bout. i'm sad. my bros are sad. i am bracing myself now because hbo is re-broadcasting the fight right now and i am totally sober. will i be able to watch it again?
peace,
tyler
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
the vampires have risen....
so i'm sure you all remember the vampires from my stay in nyc this last summer and from my close encounter with a particular one on july 4th in central park. if you remember i was about to fuck him when something told me: don't do it!
for once, i didn't and i came to learn that he (edgar) was part of a group of vampires who also attended columbia with me though they were all under grads and all english majors. more importantly, they were all devastatingly handsome.
if you also remember, they followed me around the university watching my every move which was on the one hand sexy but on the other...creepy.
edgar also called me here in sb asking if i would mind a visit but hey i ain't no fool: iknow that if you invite a vampire into your home that he can do anything that a guest can do. so i demurred.
so what happened? the whole bunch came a callin' to me at ucsb en masse...all 6 of them. and fuck did they make a commotion or what? they are deathly white, beautiful, well dressed, un naturally muscled and unmistakingly and devastatingly sexy.
they strode into one of my classes mentored by a prof who takes everything in stride: welcome he said. you are all welcome to come in and listen and participate if you feel so inclined.
so, i coninued to participate in class and when it was over what to do, i thought.
ok: i'll take then to downey's for dinner: i mean what else, right. i take a pack of vampires to the finest restaurant in santa barbara, right?
vampires do not eat but they sure drink red wine and eat desserts...many desserts.
i found them a room at the spanish garden inn and bid farewell thinking i had done my duty as a host. but no. they were at my doorstep at 6 am in the morning when i awoke groggy from the night before but looking forward to my workout and my final classes of 2008. so off we all went to the ucsb gym.
end of part I.
peace,
tyler
for once, i didn't and i came to learn that he (edgar) was part of a group of vampires who also attended columbia with me though they were all under grads and all english majors. more importantly, they were all devastatingly handsome.
if you also remember, they followed me around the university watching my every move which was on the one hand sexy but on the other...creepy.
edgar also called me here in sb asking if i would mind a visit but hey i ain't no fool: iknow that if you invite a vampire into your home that he can do anything that a guest can do. so i demurred.
so what happened? the whole bunch came a callin' to me at ucsb en masse...all 6 of them. and fuck did they make a commotion or what? they are deathly white, beautiful, well dressed, un naturally muscled and unmistakingly and devastatingly sexy.
they strode into one of my classes mentored by a prof who takes everything in stride: welcome he said. you are all welcome to come in and listen and participate if you feel so inclined.
so, i coninued to participate in class and when it was over what to do, i thought.
ok: i'll take then to downey's for dinner: i mean what else, right. i take a pack of vampires to the finest restaurant in santa barbara, right?
vampires do not eat but they sure drink red wine and eat desserts...many desserts.
i found them a room at the spanish garden inn and bid farewell thinking i had done my duty as a host. but no. they were at my doorstep at 6 am in the morning when i awoke groggy from the night before but looking forward to my workout and my final classes of 2008. so off we all went to the ucsb gym.
end of part I.
peace,
tyler
Monday, November 24, 2008
giving thanks and other unsightly endeavors
thanksgiving is coming up here in just about three days. it is a day of rest, a day of eating too much,a day to hopefully think about all that is good and pure about your life: a day to make some changes for the better.
i have always loved thanksgiving and my uncle made sure that no matter in what financial shape he was in (of course as a dumb kid i could not tell that he was a struggling student when he adpoted me at the ripe of old of 23), we always had a big turkey and all the trimmings.
i had planned to spend thanksgiving with bob's mom in bellevue, washington but when i told the uncs he had such a look of disappointment, i immediately changed my mind. would i ever purposely hurt this man in any way shape or form? no fucking way. he comes first. he was/is my savior in so many ways.
so bob, his mom and i plus the uncs and his man will spend the day together. i will cook. we will drink, eat and then drink and eat again. i have honed this menu to the point that it is truly one of the best meals that i cook. i cook a lot of course but seldom prepare an entire meal: from soup to nuts as they say. it takes days, it is a pain in the ass but when we all sit down on thursday, it will be magic. on top of all of this it is supposed to rain. how sweet is that? it has been so hot here in so cal for so long that a day of food, family, friends AND cold weather in los angeles? too much to hope for, huh?
so speaking of bob: it has been a while since i have written about him...we did have our first argument, made up and then had another one. right now we are cozy. all is well but to be honest there is now a small crack on the surface of our relationship. the age difference is now more apparent, his heretofore heterosexuality is also an issue: an issue that will never be resolved. oddly enough, i am calm about this. i have accepted it. do i wince when he checks out a woman? yes but not any more than when he checks out a man. hey, i do the same and he doesn't like it either. this is life isn't it? you take the good with the bad as moms used to say. why i remember her saying this i do not know but i do.
so happy thanksgiving to my readers: sorry about the lapse in writing of late but school is grueling and frankly that is all that i can think about right now except for my moms and pops and my uncle michael and bob.
the holidays can be a bad time for many people: those who think that they have no one with which to commiserate. but, though i don't have much to offer, i do have that in spades. i understand you, i relate, i care.
peace,
tyler
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
out, out damned spot
so i'm standing on the corner of state and mission having just run up to the mission from la cumbre plaza and right before my eyes a woman steps off the curb from next to me and is decimated by a car rushing by to beat the red light.
she is thrown 50 feet from me and the feeling of watching her fly through the air is like nothing i've ever felt in my life.
you know how people say: "it was like i was watching a movie?" well, that is what it was exactly like. she flew through the air and fell to the asphalt and cracked her head open.
i rushed over to help her, sweat pouring off of me, not only from the exhausting run but from the utter freakiness of the situation.
how do you help someone who is obviously beyond help? she lay on the ground, legs askew, her head profusely bleeding: bright red liquid all around her.
at least i had the presence of mind to hold her hand, say a prayer for her and call 911...all in the same split second it seemed. funny, though i am catholic, i could only think of a few phrases of the Jewish Book of the Dead which was written to be used as a guide for both the living and the dead. then i said a hail mary, people all around me: no one doing anything to comfort this woman who clung onto life long enough to say thanks to me. and then she was gone. i have never seen anyone die. i promise you that when and if you do, you will never forget it. it is as if the life force is sucked out of a person from the inside out. the eyes go blank, the body goes limp. there is no doubt that death has arrived and being so close to this woman i could actually smell her die as i think i breathed in her last breath. fucking scary...more so now as i write this than at the time.
many of you know that i lost my parents when i was very young. what you don't know is that they lost their lives in a similar manner: thrown from their car in a devastating car accident. their bodies likewise on view to a number of people who did nothing to comfort them. they died on the street, in public, no one around who cared enough to even pull my mother's skirt down. even now thinking about that one small fact makes me want to beat someone to a bloody pulp. but, at least they had each other to cling on to and when the paramedics arrived they had to pry their hands apart. i like that. it makes me smile: 2 people so in love until the very end, innit?
yeah, i told myself, once the uncs told me about this 5 years ago, that i would never let this happen to another human being if i could help it.
but did i think that i would/could actually hold it together enough to actually help someone in this way? no. not in million years.
it was a small kindness, i know this. it was an unconscious act, one guided by necessity and the enormity of the event more than by unbridled humanity, i think.
it may sound as if i am bragging and in a way i am. but not for me. it's because i was invested with the highest moral and social ideals...by the uncs: uncle michael.
so yeah this whole thing is morbid i guess. maybe even self-serving and yet it is humbling: i had the balls and the presence of mind to act: i was not an observer, i was a participant.
it is real. it happened to me and, though i will never forget it, i survived.
peace,
tyler
she is thrown 50 feet from me and the feeling of watching her fly through the air is like nothing i've ever felt in my life.
you know how people say: "it was like i was watching a movie?" well, that is what it was exactly like. she flew through the air and fell to the asphalt and cracked her head open.
i rushed over to help her, sweat pouring off of me, not only from the exhausting run but from the utter freakiness of the situation.
how do you help someone who is obviously beyond help? she lay on the ground, legs askew, her head profusely bleeding: bright red liquid all around her.
at least i had the presence of mind to hold her hand, say a prayer for her and call 911...all in the same split second it seemed. funny, though i am catholic, i could only think of a few phrases of the Jewish Book of the Dead which was written to be used as a guide for both the living and the dead. then i said a hail mary, people all around me: no one doing anything to comfort this woman who clung onto life long enough to say thanks to me. and then she was gone. i have never seen anyone die. i promise you that when and if you do, you will never forget it. it is as if the life force is sucked out of a person from the inside out. the eyes go blank, the body goes limp. there is no doubt that death has arrived and being so close to this woman i could actually smell her die as i think i breathed in her last breath. fucking scary...more so now as i write this than at the time.
many of you know that i lost my parents when i was very young. what you don't know is that they lost their lives in a similar manner: thrown from their car in a devastating car accident. their bodies likewise on view to a number of people who did nothing to comfort them. they died on the street, in public, no one around who cared enough to even pull my mother's skirt down. even now thinking about that one small fact makes me want to beat someone to a bloody pulp. but, at least they had each other to cling on to and when the paramedics arrived they had to pry their hands apart. i like that. it makes me smile: 2 people so in love until the very end, innit?
yeah, i told myself, once the uncs told me about this 5 years ago, that i would never let this happen to another human being if i could help it.
but did i think that i would/could actually hold it together enough to actually help someone in this way? no. not in million years.
it was a small kindness, i know this. it was an unconscious act, one guided by necessity and the enormity of the event more than by unbridled humanity, i think.
it may sound as if i am bragging and in a way i am. but not for me. it's because i was invested with the highest moral and social ideals...by the uncs: uncle michael.
so yeah this whole thing is morbid i guess. maybe even self-serving and yet it is humbling: i had the balls and the presence of mind to act: i was not an observer, i was a participant.
it is real. it happened to me and, though i will never forget it, i survived.
peace,
tyler
Sunday, November 2, 2008
halloween: the aftermath
so halloween night went off as planned; meaning w/o too much "incident." carlos and greg only got into it with one str8 couple (a man and a woman no less)but bobby straightened it out very quickly.
costume roundup:
me: lioncloth, flips
bob: roman centurion w/o the metal chestplate for most of the night...which means he wore a pleated skirt...
carlos: dracula
greg: toga: but at least a short one
frank (school friend): a sleazy, fishnet wearing ho...and this guy is str8. no: i mean frank is really str8. HE almost traded blows with a guy who was trying to protect his dibs on a woman....lots of yelling and being macho but no actual blows were traded..damn!
jackie (q's manager): a bra, 50's style slip and black suede pumps a la elizabeth taylor in "cat on a hot tin roof." very subtle i thought...but i got it right away as jackie has black hair, a slammin' body, big tits...a taylor-style knockout.
we all drank too much tequila and red wine, stayed until after hours (read 5 am) then we went to a roach coach and ate carnitas tacos and very very hot salsa. then we went home.
yesterday, i was basically in a coma for most of the day. oh yeah i smoked an unbelievable cigar...montecristo #4.....so when i woke up the next day..the following things were in full force:
1. a right side of my head headache
2. cigar mouth (and yes of course i brushed and flossed the night before)
3. acid stomach (the italians call it agita)
4. my feet were spotted with mud (? no idea here)
5. i couldn't move much less go to work out
6. it was all saint's day
as for #6: i had to shower, shave, dress and go to mass as all saints day is (as the tims describes in his blog) a holy day of obligation. and me, being a good catholic, had to go to church. at least i was able to beg God to help me with my head, stomach, etc. bob remained in bed until 4 pm...sleeping btw. this ability of his to sleep for hours at a time really bugs me because i can barely sleep. anyway he wakes up at 4, a big RESTED smile on his face and says to me:
"what's to eat, hub, babe?"
now, unless he was blinded by over 8 hours of continuous sleep, could he not see that i was one inch away from death's door? and this is after i went to mass, prayed to the lord to help me rid myself of this innervating hangover. so i say:
" i can make you an omelet." yup, i'm whipped. this proves it. i am forsaken.
so i raise up off the sofa like dracula out of his coffin and prepare bob a spinach, horseradish cheddar cheese and portabello mushroon omelet (6 eggs btw), rye toast and fresh coffee. i drag myself back to the sofa after this strenuous activity. bob squeezes himself behind me on said sofa and proceeds to fall asleep again!
i finally make it back to bed at 9pm after watching "the painted veil" (?) with edward norton and naomi watts: both of whom i love but please this film only proves once again that sommerset maugham cannot be made into film.
it is now mid day on sunday: i am once again feeling normal. now on to thanksgiving (with bob's mom) and christmas (the uncs) and new years (hopefully in europe...heee-hawwww!)
peace,
tyler
costume roundup:
me: lioncloth, flips
bob: roman centurion w/o the metal chestplate for most of the night...which means he wore a pleated skirt...
carlos: dracula
greg: toga: but at least a short one
frank (school friend): a sleazy, fishnet wearing ho...and this guy is str8. no: i mean frank is really str8. HE almost traded blows with a guy who was trying to protect his dibs on a woman....lots of yelling and being macho but no actual blows were traded..damn!
jackie (q's manager): a bra, 50's style slip and black suede pumps a la elizabeth taylor in "cat on a hot tin roof." very subtle i thought...but i got it right away as jackie has black hair, a slammin' body, big tits...a taylor-style knockout.
we all drank too much tequila and red wine, stayed until after hours (read 5 am) then we went to a roach coach and ate carnitas tacos and very very hot salsa. then we went home.
yesterday, i was basically in a coma for most of the day. oh yeah i smoked an unbelievable cigar...montecristo #4.....so when i woke up the next day..the following things were in full force:
1. a right side of my head headache
2. cigar mouth (and yes of course i brushed and flossed the night before)
3. acid stomach (the italians call it agita)
4. my feet were spotted with mud (? no idea here)
5. i couldn't move much less go to work out
6. it was all saint's day
as for #6: i had to shower, shave, dress and go to mass as all saints day is (as the tims describes in his blog) a holy day of obligation. and me, being a good catholic, had to go to church. at least i was able to beg God to help me with my head, stomach, etc. bob remained in bed until 4 pm...sleeping btw. this ability of his to sleep for hours at a time really bugs me because i can barely sleep. anyway he wakes up at 4, a big RESTED smile on his face and says to me:
"what's to eat, hub, babe?"
now, unless he was blinded by over 8 hours of continuous sleep, could he not see that i was one inch away from death's door? and this is after i went to mass, prayed to the lord to help me rid myself of this innervating hangover. so i say:
" i can make you an omelet." yup, i'm whipped. this proves it. i am forsaken.
so i raise up off the sofa like dracula out of his coffin and prepare bob a spinach, horseradish cheddar cheese and portabello mushroon omelet (6 eggs btw), rye toast and fresh coffee. i drag myself back to the sofa after this strenuous activity. bob squeezes himself behind me on said sofa and proceeds to fall asleep again!
i finally make it back to bed at 9pm after watching "the painted veil" (?) with edward norton and naomi watts: both of whom i love but please this film only proves once again that sommerset maugham cannot be made into film.
it is now mid day on sunday: i am once again feeling normal. now on to thanksgiving (with bob's mom) and christmas (the uncs) and new years (hopefully in europe...heee-hawwww!)
peace,
tyler
Thursday, October 30, 2008
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!
happy all souls day to all of you.halloween is probably the gayest of holidays though of course it is not an official national holiday as say thanksgiving or president's day. but don't tell that to those of you who will be in west hollywood on halloween night, heh?
halloween for me this year will be spent with bob and da bros and asssorted denizens of q's. hopefully there will be no fights but i can't promise that as q's is mostly str8 except for a few days a year...and halloween is one of them.
as i've said before, a good friend of mine is the manager of q's and she protects us as much as she can but carlos and greg have big mouths and become easily slighted when anyone (gay or str8) even gives them a sidelong glance. you take the good with the bad with friends, right?
this will be a couple of firsts for bob: first time with da bros, first time in a semi-gay bar (where it is within the realm of possiblity that he might see one of his students) and the first time we have been together on halloween. i gather that he usually does nothing on halloween so just being out and about with me in downtown sb will be a new experience for him. i will protect him...hehehe.
bob took this of me with one of those postage stamp polaroids, remember them? i had to laugh when i saw the camera. it has to be 20 years old, huh. but that is just like bob. i guess he wants to paste this photo of me on his refer, maybe? (the quality is the shits but love makes you do foolish things, huh?)
so: have a groovy halloween. drink too much. smoke too much blunt. get in a fight.make lots of love.
peace,
tyler
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