Tuesday, August 19, 2008

men that i would fuck if given the chance....

which is not likely to happen but nonetheless a guy can dream, can't he?

jon hamm. this man is so broiling hot that it really defies reason. he's on amc's "mad men" and though looking at him in a photo is orgasm inducing, check him out in motion on camera. he plays a ny ad man with a past that he has chosen to put aside and from which he moves away.
joe and i would live in connecticut probably new canaan. i would see patients during the day in our den while joe would take the train to nyc and ply his wares as.....yes an advertising executive. we will have 1 1/2 kids, 2 dogs: a cream pug and a rottweiler. we would vacation in ibiza. jon loves to go to nude beaches and play ice hockey. we will grow old gracefully and i will take a lover when he is unable to satisfy me sexually (he is 13 years older than me, afterall). he will handpick said lover for me and film us when we fuck.

jared padalecki. i have been in love with jared since seeing him for the first time on "the gilmore girls." he is very tall, has beautiful feet and his screen personna is of the ahh shucks, gary cooper variety which never fails to make me hard.
jared and i will move to hawaii and buy a sugar cane plantation. by day, jared will work the fields while i drive into honolulu to see patients. at night we will make love nonstop. we will eat coconut meat and drink local beers. life with jared will be easy and free-wheeling. we will spend the rest of lives together and when in our 40's we will adopt a family of orphaned mexican children.

jason statham. anyone who has seen "crank" will know why i love jason: he is sexy, muscular, ironic and just loads of fun. women love jason, men love jason, dogs love jason.
jason and i will live in london but not in notting hill but in belgravia. we will have 3 bull dogs and walk them together hand-in-hand nightly. our life will be one of movie sets and orgy clubs. we will vacation in rio and bali: places in which clothing is optional. i will not get jealous when people gawk at jason's massive cock because jason is a one man man: me.
jason and i will not have children as we will consider each others company enough.
jason will die when he is 52 and i will inherit all of his earthly goods and money which i will use to set up a foundation that will fund platic surgery for the homeless.

jakub stefano. if for no other reason, i am in love with jakub for his beautiful feet. jakub is a native of the czech republic yet we will lead a wonderful life in paris. jakub will be a house father caring for our 5 children while i work on the rue del'homme attending to the needs of frazzled parisians.
life with jakub will run the gamut between attending the paris opera and watching jakub sharpen his skills as a bull fighter.
unfortunately, jakub will leave me when i am 30 and will run off with a 15 year old girl from lyon. the french courts will award me everything and jakub will lead the life of boheme with his 15 year old and will ultimately die of consumption when he is 45.

last year, when i decided to take polo lessons, i met wally. wally is from argentina but teaches the art of polo here in santa barbara. wally is not the most handsome man in the world (BUT, check out those lips!) but he makes up for it with his sterling ability to make me laugh.
i actually consulted a hit man to murder wally's wife but geeked out w/o going through with the hit.
i will always consider wally the man that got away: except for one night more than a year ago after an especially tiring, hot and dusty horse riding lesson. nuff said.
wally (and no that is not his real name: i mean who in argentina is named wally, heh?)will eventually leave his wife and we will ride, two on a horse, to the pampas in argentina where we will marry. i will raise the children while wally teaches fat, bored argentinean girls to ride. i will grow fat from all the beef and gristle that i will consume but wally will not care one bit:
"mucho más al amor" he will tell me daily. oh well.

so, there you have it for now. more on this subject later. when? who knows?
i can now take "i try" off automatic play. good idea, huh?
peace,
tyler

6 comments:

Tim in Italy said...

Sooo... I take it Bob-o-licious still ain't puttin' out.

tyler said...

tims:
hey: bob declined to be included in this blog "for professional reasons" so what's a guy to do?
i am shocked that you did not mention anything about jakub. are you well? have you been struck blind? what's up?
peace,
t.

Tim in Italy said...

I'm sorry T-Bone, but I might as well lay my cards on the table. You've ruined me for all other men. Jakub can't hold a candle to you.

I'm switching to women.

tyler said...

tims:
ahhhh...u r so full of shit!
go to santa monica blvd and la brea and take 2 quualudes and then let's see what you have to say about switching to pussy.
peace,
t.

Jérem' said...

And Bob in all this? LoL!

You never leave coms on my page. why?

tyler said...

this is a fantasy blog entry, j.
bob knows where he stands in my life.
peace,
tyler