Tuesday, September 30, 2008

the MOMS...part II

so then it is day 2 in kirkland: i wake up to the smell of, i swear, home made cinnamon rolls: cinnamon from africa is unmistakable. then there is coffee, melted butter (real butter, not margarine) and i rise out of bed like dracula: straight up and glide to the kitchen (leaving bob in a dead sleep)to greet dorothy in a black bikini with an apron...a sight to behold to be sure.
though i really try to do without carbs in general and usually succeed at such, there are two things that i cannot resist (and though you might answer bittersweet chocolate....you would be wrong as bc has minimal carbs as it is very low in suger)two things carbolicious: fig newtons and cinnamon rolls.
thank god i had enough sense to slip on some pants but would it have really mattered to moms? i doubt it. besides it would have made no diff, there were c rolls to consume and hot java with which to wash them down. yum.
between bites, moms asked me about my family, about school. we chatted and ate and decided that we would go shopping that day to the first ever nordstrom's which is in bellevue a few miles away.
so we both got ready, left a note for bob who was still asleep (i hate that he can sleep so well and so fucking long) and proceeded to shop with moms at the storied nordy's in downtown bellevue.
so the convo between ooohhhhing and ahhhhing at the clothes and shoes:
moms: so you really love my son, huh?
me: yes i do with all my heart.
moms: and you know he feels the same, yes?
me: i feel that that is true, yes.
moms: i want some grandchildren, tyler....
me: yup, and i want children
moms: does bob know this?
me: yes, but he thinks i'm kidding but i am not.
moms: how would you have them?
me: well, though i would love to physically have bob's children, i cannot. so we would hire a surrogate and mix our sperm and see what happens.
moms: i believe you.
me: you believe me because i am serious and i am speaking the truth.
moms: now we must convince bob
me: moms, seriously do not say a thing to him. i will take care of that and we will have at least two children. this i promise.
moms: i believe you.
me: you believe me because i am telling you the truth.
so moms buys herself some beautiful jimmy choos and buys me a pair of white jeans and i could tell that she was happy about me but more importantly overjoyed over the prospect of spoiling the fuck out of my children. this is what grandmothers do i am told and there is not one thing bob nor i can do about it.
we decide to celebrate a bit and go to 8th avenue, find a wine bar in the hyatt and proceed to drink tequila, diet tonics and lime and eat almost everything off their appetizer menu. we have a good time.
it is 5 pm when we return home and find bob lounging on the sofa drinking a brew and eating peanuts.
me: make me pregnant.
bob: here with my mother in the next room?
me. yeah, she won't care.


Anonymous said...

He's not Bob-o-licious anymore! MMM, cinnamon?
Good luck getting pregnat.

Tim in Italy said...

We like moms. She makes you sem1-delirious with home-made cinnamon rolls (African cinnamon, no less), fresh butter and hot coffee, takes you shopping, then lays out what she expects clearly and distinctly. I wonder if Mrs. Robinson had fed Benjamin home made cinnamon rolls, that things might have worked out differently. Anyway, it sounds like she appreciated your frankness ad now you've gained a boyfriend and a mom.

Remember the Roman dictum about keeping your counsel close when fortune smiles on you lest the gods become jealous. A bit of green in your readers' eyes is probably enough.

W said...

your stories are just getting plain weird. I do however love your music selection.

tyler said...

i'll do my best!
when a parent is "out there" the child tends to be reserved, quiet, observant often keeping things close to their heart. this is bob and now i know why.
coming from you, i take that as a compliment.
the first to mention anything about the music on my blog and it is none other than the "w."

Jérem' said...

That conversation is just kinda..weird

tyler said...

well, i guess you are not in the minority regarding this blog but reality is sometimes surreal, weird, strange, heh?
moms and i spoke upfront and forward with each other: i should think that this would be looked upon as positive, n'est pas, jeremie?