Monday, April 7, 2008

today, i french kissed my 1st grade teacher.......

though today is martin luther king's day and classes were not in session, i did have a lunch date with bob-o-licious. yes i know he viewed our date as a professor/student conference but for me i viewed our lunch as an assignation as sexual as any fervent, frenzied fuck in an alley behind a club at 2 am on a saturday night.
we met at 12 at ihop on upper state street (smirk if you must) i was wearing a pair of 501's, a pair of beige havana joe's flips and a black military style athletic cut shirt. he wore a pair of sweat shorts (no underwear), a pair of black leather flips and a wrinkled white (looked like a) brooks bros white shirt. he looked like an arch angel: all smiles, slightly befuddled and profoundly sexy.
anyway, he went on about goals and deadlines and paperwork necessary to complete my phd and all i could think about was how beautiful his lips were.
so we ordered lunch: he ordered waffles with whipped cream and strawberries, a soy capp and a glass of beer. i ordered fake eggs with cheddar cheese and mushrooms and spinach and coffee. we ate, he talked, i listened. he talked i listened. then it happened. my 1st grade teacher, mr. talbot walked up to us and asked if my name were tyler and if i had gone to saint thomas school in los angeles.
after about a minute, bob nudged me and nodded towards mr talbot in order that i respond. so i did. i said yes and asked how did you recognize me, mr talbot?
mr talbot grinned and said: i would never forget that beautiful mouth of yours. ok, think about this: a man who was your FIRST grade teacher has just complimented your 6 year old self by mentioning your mouth! strange, sick, maybe even disgusting.
i turned towards bob and his expression was blank, his mouth agape. he then got up and left leaving a 10 dollar bill.
i got up and asked talbot if he wanted to take a walk to el paseo so that we could talk.
talbot had to be well into his 60's but he still was attractive, slim and his eyes were full of life and wonder: all things that i recalled of him from my very early youth.
we went to starbucks and had coffee and spoke: actually he spoke about me as a 6 year old which bordered on ickyosity but i kinda got into it. it was obvious that he wanted to get to know me better but i'm 23, he's the doesn't work. he is too old to have children. he is too weird to meet my friends except as an object of derision which i wouldn't want to put him through. so instead: we french kissed on state street in front of the starbucks on lower state street. he caressed my ass i sucked his mouth. and then it was over but you have to admit it was a martin luther king's day to remember, innit?
music listens today:
bent, the jefferson ariplane, quicksilver messenger service, moby grape, andy caldwell, kajagoogoo, talk, talk, tracey thorn, roisin murphy, heavenly, zazie,
mylene farmer, chimene...


Jaybabe said...


And wow! First time on this blog. Make i go read. Will be right back!

Just wanted to mark my presence.**wink**

Jaybabe said...

Oooohhhh! Shit! Yeah yeah, i know, i know. Dammmmmmnnnnn!

Jaybabe said...

This comment moderation thing sucks!!

Jaybabe said...

Shuu! Okay. I overstand. That was something. Dont worry about the age thing. I'm 28, He's 62, but you wont believe the energy he has. No big deal.

Mann! I wonder. That was your ex- teacher you said right? Did you feel like that(for him) while you were still at school? I mean then?

Phoenix said...

This is my first time here...and I intend to stay.

Tim in Italy said...

Ahhhh.... I admire your willingness to explore everything that comes your way, but, yeah, somewhat unsavory. Not that you kissed him, but his comments regarding you as a 6 y/o. Very off-putting for me. And seemingly for Bob as well. One wonders what was running through his mind.

W said...

er, this grosses me out a bit

tyler said...

btw: jaybabe....your bf is 62 and you are 28, yes?
if so: now how does that work for you?

tyler said...

jaybabe and phoenix:
welcome. as for the 1st grade teacher thing: i was so innocent and dumb at six i knew nothing of this dude's attraction to me....and yes w and everyone is gross a bit and maybe even a lot: particularly now that i have had time to think about it....
but he never touched me then and i'll never see him again as he is moving to the wilds of canada...but the kiss, taken by itself,was hot.
timmy: yes, bob, who knows me psychologically as opposed to physically unfortunately better than anyone, was appalled.

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

I'm trying not to judge.

It's hard.

Well on the bright side.. you may have just made a dying man happy for the last time.

tyler said...

i have to be honest here: the kiss boned me up...which was embarrassing being that i was standing on the largest street in santa barbara at 1 pm....
of course talbot may be going home to canada to die and i fulfilled his last dying wish...who knows?
welcome btw.