Saturday, July 5, 2008

odds and ends: the debauched



ok,so my roomie and i set off for coney island yesterday to witness the nathan's hot dog eating contest which began and ended in controversy in that the contest was chopped by 2 minutes which means that the two favorites Kobayashi and Chestnut had to consume what was predicted would be 66 hot dogs in 2 minutes less than last year: a contest that chestnut won.
at seven minutes, chestnut began to struggle with the puke reflex. with one minute remaining, kobayashi pulled ahead by three dogs. both finish with 59 dogs!

a five dog eat-off will determine the winner. The first to eat the five is the winner. Chestnut wins in a photo finish!
(My opinion - I could not see that Chestnut had shoved in all 5 overtime hot dogs any more than Kobayashi. This should have gone to Penalty Hot Dogs.)

so ok, a little controversy on a warm july4, roomie (he doesn't want me to use his name as all of his friends supposedly secretly read this blog (IF his friends secretly read this blog, how does he know...???)and i decide, since we have a few hours before we hit central park, the concert and the dynamite partying...that a beer or two would be in order. so begins the debauchery, act I.
we find a place that taps guinness and london porter and we proceed to spend 4 hours drinking, NOT eating and getting to know each other which seemed like a good idea since we had been sharing quarters for a month.
we pry ourselves off the bar stools at about 3 pm, go back to the dorm, gather our contributions to the july4 central park concert and we are off. act II.
there are about a dozen uni students there, a keg, multiple bottles of red and white, a huge sandwich from dean and deluca oh yeah and 3 hot guys : under-grads from the, of course, english department (for some reason here most english students are guys and most are cute). we eat, we drink, we drink, we drink, we eat, we listen to the concert (i have no recollection of what was played), we drink. you get the picture. 2 of the english dept dudes are str8 but one, the cutest if you ask me was gay. his name is roger and, after chatting him up and obscenely flirting with him, i somehow found myself on top of him, making out. from what i remember we had a grand time and as for making a spectacle of ourselves in this huge mass of people: nah---------.
by no means were we the only horn dogs doing what comes naturally to horn dogs. to be honest, some str8 couples were even fucking...under blankets of course. (this sounds like what happens at an nine in nails concert or, according to moms, woodstock, right?)
this morning the convo between roomie and me:
roomie: (laughing) you two made a spectacle of yourselves
me: did we get naked?
roomie: no but....
me: ok, so we kept out clothes on then?
roomie: but you were on top of him making licking sounds and you had your tongue down his throat and you were tumescent...
me: boy, sounds like you were pretty interested in what i was doing, huh? tumescent? tumescent??? who talks like that?
roomie: you were lying down right next to me, what else was i supposed to do
me: you could have participated, you could have moved, you could have ignored us. ///
roomie: yes but that isn't all of it.
me: does it involve one of the other of the marginally str8 english lit guys?
roomie: yes, so you remember?
me: yes. (i smile)

we somehow make it out of central park and to the dorm seemingly unscathed when the odd, strange phenomena known as "dialing fingers" hits me. i text and call over a dozen friends in santa barbara on our drive home and chat their heads off. to all of you: mea culpa mea maxima culpa! i hope i was nice. most likely i was merely long winded and joyously drunk.

btw: someone (not me, i swear) sat on my beautiful white chocolate ganache cake but we ate it anyway: i mean it didn't smell of ass or anything and actually complimented the primo red burgundy i brought. roger liked the combo also. (err, i supposedly fed roger cake with my fingers...hmmm...i did have white stuff which i was hoping was not ganache all over my black levi shorts)

so, all in all, a good time was had by all. the only problem was that this am i woke up with a decidedly blue-tinted testicle.
peace,
tyler

recently listened to ipod songs: i can't wait (original flavor mix) andy caldwell, chicago masters ep...chicago dj rasoul, sing (moto blanco remix)annie lennox, effets secondaires...mylene farmer, a taste of honey...morgana king, a tisket, a tasket...ella fitzgerald, in the wee small hours of the morning...frank sinatra, open up (full vocal mix)...leftfield, soul shelter...sander kleinenberg, rise (eric kupper remix)...samantha james....

for no other reason than that i think it is salaciously funny, there is this photo stolen from another blogger's blog (thanks, chris!)


this is jon hamm. he is slammin' hot. i actually wrote a whole blog on jon a month or so ago. i was just thinking about him as i sit here in the uni library. his series "mad men" is first rate and as you can see he just oozes sex appeal. yowza.

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