Thursday, July 24, 2008

random things i think about...

bob and i are doing very well for those of you that have asked. he is still here in nyc and we are having an old fashioned courtship, translation: no fucking, lots of kissing. the guy won't sex me unless the school has transferred me to another phd thesis sponsor. and this won't be official until we return to school in september. so i jerk off a lot in lots of out of the way places: restrooms, broom closets, against a tree, in a gopher hole, on the subway (yeah right!) know the regular.
anyway here are some random thoughts and situations:
i was driving today to my intern gig and watched as a stupid dude swerved to miss a car...he was driving something like 70 mph and nicked the side of said car and hit another car so hard that his car caved onto him, crushed his face and cut off the top of his skull. when i passed him, having had to swerve 3 lanes over to his right (w/o looking who was coming btw), his brains were visible and the front of his car was smashed up to his hairline. spooky. scary. disgusting.
and i am wondering: what was i thinking not even looking for other cars when i swerved over and what or who was protecting me, keeping me safe in that situation?

speaking of feet: if you are going to show them in public please have the decency to groom them, ok?

why is it that now when i run from the upper 100's to midtown : nothing ever happens to me? i mean is nyc used to me? no ass pinching. no name calling. no wolf whistles. no construction workers shouting at me to suck their dicks. am i now considered a veteran new yorker: a face in the crowd? i like this. it makes me smile and for some reason it makes me sad.

why is it that food just tastes better in nyc? hot dogs off the street, pizza....especially pizza...mama mia! and yes i know i follow the atkins way of eating but...yes but....

am i the only one who is enjoying the tv show: so you think you can dance? i love to dance and i love to watch good dancing. the contestant dancers this season are primo. catch a show and you too will be hooked.

batman: the dark knight. this movie is so brilliant: sad, moving, full of heart and thoughtfulness on the one hand and vicious and bloody on the other. it is especially tragic because of the outstanding "joker" of the late heath ledger. ledger was so moving in brokeback mountain that when i see that movie i am a mess over and over again as i watch the final scenes. such a tragic, stupid end for such a good actor who was at the very beginning of a career that i think would have taken him to better and better performances.

speaking of ledger and the rampant sleeplessness of those of us in our 20's: what's up with this do you think? so many of my friends as well as myself just can't fucking sleep well. i mean what collectively is happening here? you read so many articles about what happens to your health when you don't sleep enough. does this mean that those of us in their 20's now will be stark raving mad when we reach our
60's? will insane asylums be reopened to accommodate all the old and sleepless of the world in the year 2048? think about it.

getting rid of fat tip: lift before you run and you will burn 20-30% more fat during your run. i wonder if that will work if you eat 8 ozs of bittersweet chocolate after you run?

i am finding, through my interning with a sports psychologist this summer, that in a lot of her patients: athletes all...are gay and tortured by it. (btw: i am not betraying a confidence here as these people are not my patients per se and i am not naming chill) are there more gays in the world in general or is it just me? and athletes seem to be the most tortured by it even more afraid and scared by it than the rest of us. sad, really sad i think.

is it me or does there seem to be less caring going on in the world now? less caring for one another on a human-to-human level? i'm not particularly talking about THE war but about the war between people on a very basic level. i mean (and don't fucking snicker at me here, guys) help that old lady across the street, open a door for someone you don't know, pull out a shopping cart for the person waiting for you to pull yours your part. give the lousy drunk person some change. will 25 cents really make a difference to you in the short or even long run? do your part, be a mensch.


music to listen to when you are considering your life: the two requiems: mozart and verdi's, ella, frank, sarah, kaskade's heartbeat, madama butterfly...


Tim in Italy said...

I think it's great you're courting. And I presume that means no nudity at all, but rather what use to be called "heavy petting". I admire Bob's professional ethic and both of your restraint.

One does have to wonder how the bed, not to mention the floorboards, will hold up once that fateful day finally arrives. Gods will be created, boys will swoon, weather patterns will change, mink breeders will blush...

tyler said...

or: we will both so turned on we will be turned in unable to get/stay (as i wrote somewhere in this blog) tumescent.
i haven't been scared of sex in a long long time....but now it is creepin up on me. stuff like: what if we are not compatible sexually, what if he thinks i'm a bad fuck.....this waiting is not good for, not only my right hand, but for my psyche.
(btw: we do see each other nude as when he stays over he showers here and i just happen to be in the bathroom when he is exiting said shower. he just smiles, knows why i am there and continues with his toilette oblivious to the drool coming out of my mouth.)

Ken said...

My random thought: How can people stand waiting?! I decided to take matters into my own hands.

And RE athletes, you don't think it's because, they...grew up hiding their identity from themselves and others more fiercely. Would I have been beat up for that shit?

You'll be fine with the sex when it've had plenty more practice than he!

tyler said...

taking matters into your own hands, kenny? as in jerking off in a closet? ha....
waiting: i have no choice now do i? i happen to be in love with a man with scruples. i've even asked him if he would jerk off in a cup so that i can drink it...but...NOOOO!

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

Hey sorry was abucted by aliens - they only just returned me having tired of the constant anal probing.. there is only so much you can learn from a butt hole I suppose.

Its great to hear your courting Bob-o-licious. About time too. Pity about the work ethic - although I'm sure it'll be well worth the wait when finally you can fuck.

I wanna see Batman - just came out here today but the shows are fully booked so might wait till next week - wanna see Mamma Mia so might see that first.

Hope all is well x

tyler said...

and the alien is called english, right?
glad to see that you are back and seemingly alive.
update your blog so that i can write witty and sexy comments therein.

Mr. Model said...

I'm loving this blog!!! All over the place and fun!!! There are thousands more gays!!!! They just need to grow some balls, a lesson hard to learn! Miss you, be safe!

tyler said...

hey tanny:
thanks for the comment. i hope all is well with you.
have a groovy weekend.

Ken said...

Mr. Model: to grow real balls is harder than you think. Keep working at it. :P

Tyler: ha, I never said it was my matter I was taking in my own hands. Are you projecting?! But no, really, if bob's who you say he is, he's worth it.

tyler said...

so far bob is what he says he is....

Anonymous said...

I'm reading your blog in reverse chronological order, sorry about that. I'm reading it top to bottom (hmm).

I saw Dark Knight twice, caught more of it the 2nd time in terms of comprehension (damn teenage serial texters). 2nd time, I acutally understood all the plot, I think. Great performance, do you want my copy of the DVD brokeback mountain limited edition? you can have it.

Regarding the athletes and their secret gay torture, interesting. Thanks for sharing that. I had company I guess, just didn't know it! What a waste.
Poor guys/gals.

feet: I agree. But when they are right, it's cool to see them, but there are some where I think, put some shoes on please.

Good catching up on your blog--til next time.

WillySmith said...

I agree with the music, but the first two are more appropriate for when you are considering your death (also hear Fauré & Berlioz).

tyler said...

i disagree, the verdi and mozart are nothing if not filled with life affirming music. yes a requiem is about death but it is also about celebrating a well lived life.
i love le damnation de faust btw.