Wednesday, July 30, 2008

i got bob a job!

it has become very difficult to be with bob in any form of interaction: eating, sleeping, watching tv, going to a concert, sitting next to him, listening to his urine as it hits the get the picture.
since we cannot have sex until bob is assured that his removal as my phd sponsor has been approved (which won't happen until i face the psychology dept firing squad or inquisition panel or whatever the fuck you call it....) in september.
and though i am at school or interning in new jersey i always spend most nights with bob. i mean i love talking to the guy, ,love discussing life, discussing movies, talking about the know, the works. but all of this contact, both physical and mental: IS DRIVING ME UP A WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so, i got bob a job.
and even though it is just for a month or so until the end of the term, it will keep him busy, keep him away from me a bit (i know this sounds both nuts and mean)so that i can maybe, just maybe not have a hard on for 5 minutes a day as his mere presence makes me hard, makes me crazy, makes me want to rape him. i have even had dreams (or maybe i was awake, i can't tell) in which i tie him up and perform unnatural acts of aggressive sex on him that involve all his orifices.
i don't feel good about this and i needed help fast so i asked my former mentor (who just may be my mentor again soon): what do i do? he suggested getting bob a part time job.
now it just so happens once i inquired at the dean's office, i was told that one of the child psych profs had to leave for personal reasons (sick i know, but the rumor is he had been raping his children for years....)LIGHTBULB MOMENT!
child psych happens to be bob's specialty: bingo, to make a long story short...he's subbing for month. heee----hawwww!
then i thought about it for more than a second: this means that i will now see him at school as well as at home! but thank god i do not have a child psych seminar this summer. but there is the uni gym where i'm likely to see him naked or clothed or working out. he makes this training face while he lifts that makes me melt into the ground like the wicked witch of the west. well: i'm not going to think about that.
so this is how and why i got bob a job. with my luck he will meet one of the dreaded, drop-dead gorgeous english lit majors and decide to run off with one of them. drat.
(i swear that since the july 4th bacchanal in central park i have been ghosted by these guys.i firmly believe that these dudes are vampires because i have only seen them at night, they always wear black, never eat and smell like earth)
for example:
vampire #1 (the one i almost had sex with in public and certainly did indeed make out with shamelessly.....and to make matters worse a fellow psych student told me yesterday that i was eating said vampires ass on that fateful night (when i asked my roomie about this he said nonchalantly: oh yeah, didn't i tell you that?... hmmm, was this why i had, what i thought was, lipstick on my mouth? or was it blood?)
so tyler how have you been? i haven't heard from you since the 4th.
me: yes, i have been very busy and i don't have your number. (wrong move!)
vampire #1: well here is my card.
( a college student with a calling card? is this edwardian england? OR: maybe he IS from edwardian england, heh?)
me: thanks jared (reading the card surreptitiously so as not to let him know that i don't remember his name). i will call you.
Vamp #1: you better! ( i swear this sounded like a threat/ also i swear his breath smelled of rat turds.
so, did i solve anything here? who knows?

music to listen to while you try to take your mind off wanting to fuck:
america the beautiful, the star spangled banner, anything by mussorskly, avoid anything by frank, ella, sarah, laura nyro, seal, stevie or take attivan and sleep as much as you can.


Jim said...

I read to fast and I work in porn. I could have sworn you wrote "I got a boob job". And I could not figure out why.

Tim in Italy said...

Poor boy. Apparently no knot hole is safe. Small, furry woodland creatures live in fear and dread.

I would postulate that the emotional commitment that has developed between you and Bob is as compromising as any sexual relationship. Even worse, actually, since any sex at this point would be the off-shoot of that emotional commitment. Bob's objectivity in your regard is already compromised; will adding sex make it any worse? More to the point, will anyone even believe that you have both been celibate pending the board's review?

I say knock him down, tie him up, strip him naked and have your way with him... hmmm, I've given myself a woody... At least that way he can say it was all outside of his control.

tyler said...

jim: now THAT is funny! thanks for the chuckle.
whether the board believes us(or me, really as i am the one asking for a sponsor change)or not, i've got this honest, trying to do the best that he can dude who stands between me and my getting loved up. and he is immovable.
i told him last night that i was going to seek sex elsewhere and he just smiled and said: i know you won't.
and he's right. shit!

Ken said...

Ha, "sleep as much as you can" was always my tactic when I was going through tough times with the ex...damn, I hate the way we can just mull over something out of our control for hours, or days, or even longer!

Once the fog burns off, I'll call you and take a shirtless (only to get sun of course) walk on the could use a distraction.

Mr. Model said...

Ummmm I LOVE YOU? No that can't be it but it can be "EVRYTHING"

tyler said...

heartbeat: kaskade....itune it or preview it on youtube.
yes, love is a fucking bitch! and having love without sex is worse. my school work is suffering, i'm losing weight because i run so much to work off the escess hormones. (actually i've had to give up running for a while and concentrate on lifting in order to gain back the muscle mass that i have lost).no amount of jerking off is helping. all that is left is for me to jump off a cliff.
oh well.

Anonymous said...

Fleshlight, i'm telling you. lol

tyler said...

ok, is a fleshlight a flAshlight thing that you put your cock in? sorta like a fake ass hole?

dit said...

WOW! Very smart move getting Bob a job. Or are you getting a boob job? lol

The vampire sounds tasty. lol

Maybe a toss off in the shower is needed, rinse and repeat. lol.

Take care and hang in there.

Anonymous said...

LOL, yes!

or for us Mo's....

I don't own either, i'm just saying :) Maybe some poor baptist closeted guy will stop by and thank us later.

tyler said...

if you owned 30, all with diamond clusters, no one who reads this blog would give a fuck.
we have all used something or someone to get off, heh? a tree? a wolf? a teddy bear? a pillow? a toilet seat?
i bought a fleshlight for my cousin last year: he says it is the best gift he ever
i may buy one for timmy this year....
btw: thanks for reminding about this gadget, i just may buy one for myself.....

tyler said...

my cock is raw from jerking off, babe.
i'm not a shower and rinse masturbator....never got the hang of it, i guess.
i'm more the stand up and jerk off wherever i am type: the confessional, public restrooms, elevators, broom know, the regular.
have a great weekend, ditty.

Anonymous said...

I HAVE been looking into them, obviously. I haven't taken the plunge. That's an interesting gift for the cousin! and i haven't used trees, wolves or teddy bears in the past! You going for the pussy, the mouth, the ass? Just wondering.

I think they're all the rage reading their user forum. I saw one in my straight friends bathroom the other day and thought, uh uh. He left it out and I knew what it was. But I had to look it up. I will admit, I thought it was a flashlight momentarily.