bob: so i want to have breakfast with you and i want to tell you something....
me: ok ( at this point i am literally shivering as if i were waiting to be executed on death row)... i am here. talk to me.
bob: ok, i'll be brief and straight to the point. (like i want him to be anything else). i want to have a relationship with you.
me: ( having just had the best breakfast ever...perfect poached eggs and bacon) ok but what exactly does that mean?
bob: it means that i want to pursue a love relationship with you which does not mean that i am in love with you but that i am almost there.
me: pursue a love relationship? what does that mean?
bob: it means that i think that there is enough real feeling in me to pursue and take this forward to perhaps a love thing.
me: bob this sounds like you are negotiating for love not pursuing love. now how am i supposed to take this proposal.
bob: fuck you tyler! i'm trying to tell you that i think that i love you.
me: ok, now you've got my attention. but honestly: either you love me or your don't.
bob: that's just it: i'm not sure that i do love you but want to pursue the possibility.
me: that is probably the most bloodless declaration of love or maybe not love that i have ever heard.
bob: baby, can i try? i want to try.
me: yes. but you need to make your feelings more apparent, more obvious. we are talking L O V E here not the weather.
bob: ok, but you know that i have problems with this sort of thing.
me: problems or not, make your feelings known to me or it will never work.
bob: gotcha!
so that is how it started and that is how it ended. do i feel better after this convo? honestly, not really. what did i expect? a string orchestra playing in the background while bob, on his knees of course, pleading for my hand in marriage with huge tears dripping from his baleful eyes? frankly, yes. a pledge of undying love, spectacular sex anytime anywhere? yes. the keys to a montecito house close to oprah's? you bet! but i got what i got and there is no doubt that bob is serious and means every word of his carefully composed proposal.
frankly, i'm tired of giving bob the benefit of the doubt. but do i have a choice here?
he was so earnest and honest this morning that my brain tells me that he did the best that he could but my heart and soul is not so sure.
peace,
tyler
ok, the photo of my toes has nothing at all to do with the theme of this blog but timmy needs to see a pair of well cared for toes.....and he can do with them whatever he chooses.
music:the man i love (ella), my man (billie), why did i choose you? (steisand), been on a train (laura nyro), woman's work (maxwell), i try (angela bofill)...
15 comments:
I could spend quality time with those feet. What we need are more glory holes just for feet. Have something drawn up; we'll review in the morning.
Now on to more serious issues...
I think you love someone for who they are, not who you'd like them to be. I would postulate that given Bob's issues with expressing heart felt emotion, the very fact that he made the effort that he did indicates a depth of feeling and desire that would be nearly overwhelming. But he stepped up to the plate and took the plunge in spite of the extreme discomfort that he must have been feeling and I don't know that you were totally gracious in recognizing that fact.
You have a choice of course: A) Take Bob as your lover and see what develops, understanding that nothing is ever perfect or B) continue trolling for cute undergrads in the park. Both are valid. But if you choose the former, it will require a lot of patience, because you're two very different people. But opposites do attract and nothing ventured nothing gained and... um... a rolling stone gathers no moss... so, yeah. Go for it!
timmy:
ok, when you're right, you're right. yes, i could have been kinder. when i read back my blog entry about what transpired i have to admit that i was a bit angry, huh?
but honestly, bob was so freaked out about having to actually say those words out in the open that i doubt he noticed what i said...at least all of what i said.
afterwards we held hands walking back to his hotel. it was sweet.
t.
Yes, but why were you angry? I'm having trouble getting my head around that point.
Bob really put himself out there. He must care for you very much.
timmy:
frustrated really i guess. but frustration is just another form of anger...so my being frustrated had to do with almost a year of waiting for this moment. some people would have been joyous, right? i was thinking more like "it's about time!"
i can't explain it any better than that.
mr model, huh?
yes, thanks for the text. i did read it though i got in a shitload of trouble as i was in session when it arrived. ha!
as far as toes are concerned: I WILL be the judge of that, mr. t!
peace,
t.
What an amazing thing this is. You have been crushing on Bob forever. Now the possibilities are not only possible, they seem to be moving. Congratulations my friend. It all sounds dreamy.
You do have nice feet. Is this feet day? lol Very pretty toes indeed.
ditty:
yes dreamy is right...unfortunately you always wake up. but i will be positive here and think only good thoughts.
i'm scared you know: scared, excited, sick to my stomach.....
but we are having dinner tonight at lutece. oh shit, i hope he has clothes to wear there...yikes.
i'm going to get him to go elsewhere is all: who cares about the place really. maybe we'll go to a fried chicken/waffle place i like in harlem.
yes, feet day it is. timmy started it ya know.
t.
I take full responsibility for the feet thing.
Tyler-
I can only imagine the build up you've gone through over the past few months only to be met with a less than romantic convo over breakfast. You'll have time to talk more, so to be truthful, I thought you reacted pretty honestly.
And lay off Mr. Model's toes...his feet are mine for the time being. :P
-Ken
k:
yeah i'll lay off his toes if you can honestly say that you have sucked them...hmmmm?
good luck to you two...
peace,
t.
What's with all this foot nonsense anyway???
willy:
so i guess you are not a member of boysfeet.com, heh?
there are some guys and women who are actually foot fetishists. my interest in toes is less than that but i do like to, as part of the sex act or not, suck me some hot looking toes.
certainly, you've come across this in your studies, yes?
peace,
t.
I am familiar with the principle though I had no idea that the practice was so common. To each their own: if you want to suck on my toes I'm not going to stop you (that's a kind of ubiquitous you, not necessarily a specific one). As long as that's not all what gets sucked, I'm a happy boy!
willy:
of course, fetishists will suck any toes...that's their thing. i only play with toes that i think are attractive (you can stop snickering, now...i know it sounds weird/funny but isn't all sex weird and funny if you REALLY think about it?)
timmy is to blame for all of these toe people that we know coming out of the woodwork. i had no idea that timmy or ditty had the toe thing though i did know that mr model (tanner) was a foot boy as are most guys from santa barbara both str8 and gay.
t.
Hey it's not my role to judge (specifically, it's my role to disregard, poke-fun-at and/or rant about). Timmy can be blamed for most things if you really think about it.
willy:
never meant to imply anything about you that approaches judgement. toe sucking def takes a back seat in my book to good reds and better chocolate.
tan:
lol: i think you need to get a job with the sb is a great place council.
as far as your toes are concerned: you need to post a photo.. i will set up a panel of judges who will evaluate them....hehehe.
i hope spokane is treating you well.
peace,
t.
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